I had the distinct pleasure of seeing Neil Gaiman, Peter Straub and Gary Wolfe speak at the Wisconsin Book Festival last weekend. Hot damn, Neil Gaiman rocks in so many ways. The official title of the talk was something on the lines of "The Evolution of Horror and Fantasy: Genre Fiction and 'The New Wave Fabulists." Straub and Wolfe immediately launched into a schpiel on how all the authors hate the bizarre genre title of "New Wave Fabulists". Wolfe mentioned "When I think of waves, I think of something nasty washed up on the shore." Straub went on in this vein for a good 20 minutes before saying "I said we should be called something like ‘The Underground River’ or "The Mountain behind that other Mountain Movement." Wrenched from his reverie over his water bottle, Gaiman shrieked in his fabulous British accent "What, we could have been the mountain behind that other mountain movement.! Well!" It was fantastic.

Some of my favorite commentaries include Gaiman saying something on the lines of "You can write about L.A. or New York passably well just by reading about them and watching TV. However, most people know nothing about the "fly-over states’ (Midwest). I mean, the first time you come here and go outside and your nose hairs freeze, and you can feel EVERY ONE OF THEM, then that is science-fiction." Much to our delight, Gaiman also mentioned going to the House on the Rock "Wandering around in there for 4 hours, then coming out and looking around for someone to explain to you what it was all about. And no one does. You swear you will never go back, and a few years later you are dragging some friends there. " Funny and accurate.

One questions addressed to the panel was about getting ideas on horror writing and what really scares them. Gaiman concluded that all the horror writers he knows are very nice, well adjusted (here he gave a toothy beaming smile) folks. "It’s the self-help writers…" he said meaningfully. The other panel members all vigorously nodded their heads. "They’re the ones with the secret rooms."

The talk ended up with a comment from Wolfe about how reading older books explain and enrich modern books in the horror and sci-fi genres "Like with the composer Daniel Iverson, it’s good music, but if you know that his melodies are Eastern Seaboard Hymns, it makes it that much richer. " Gaiman whooped with laughter and said "Ah yes, of course, Iverson. They’re all making The Face because they have no idea who he is." He then made the "knowing" thoughtful face most of the audience was wearing, accompanied by the slow nod that says "ah yes, Iverson" complemented with the sideways eye flicks to see if anyone else knows what the speaker is talking about. All in all a great afternoon. I did pick up his new book but had it signed as a gift for a friend, so I will have to get myself a copy soon. And now, on to what I did read…

Secret Girl - Molly Bruce Jacobs

Secrete Girl is a combined autobiography and biography of Jacobs and her sister Anne. As she and her sister become teenagers, Jacobs’ father tells them that they have another sister, Anne, who was born with water on the brain. The baby, twin to Jacob’s sister Laura, was not expected to live and was committed. While Jacobs’ was always fascinated by her sister, she could find out very little about her from her parents, nor did she actually meet Anne until she was in her late 30s. Once she has met Anne, Jacobs’ feels a very strong connection with Anne. Despite her mostly wretched upbringing in a barred hospital, Anne is still a outspoken, funny and life-loving woman. She dances spontaneously, speaks her mind (loudly), inhales McDonald’s hamburgers and loves her job doing cleaning. Surprisingly, of the whole family, Anne seems to be the happiest.

Jacobs’ plots her life as an alcoholic and miserable career as a lawyer. She frequently makes excuses for her cold, domineering mother (making me only loathe her more) and intellectual father, who cared so little for Anne that they would not sign the papers to let her have vaccines or a state-sponsored trip to Disneyland. She tells of her divorce, efforts to help Anne while trying to stop drinking, the death of her father and other life-shaking events. Just when everything seems to have finally fallen into place, Jacobs’ adds her horribly wrenching epilogue. Definietly not a fun read by any stretch, but excellent and satisfying in its own way.

Crackpot - The Obsessions of John Waters

"Why I Love Christmas"

By December I’m deep in Xmas psychosis, and only then do I allow myself the luxury of daydreaming my favorite childhood memory: dashing through the snow, laughing all the way (ha-ha-ha) to Grandma’s house to find that the fully decorated tree has fallen over and pinned her underneath. My candy-colored memories have run thoroughly the projector of my mind so many times that they are almost in 3-D. That awful pause before my parents rush to free her, my own stunned silence as I dared not ask if Granny’s gifts to us had been damaged, and the wondrous, glorious sight of the new semi-crooked tree, with all its broken balls, being begrudgingly hoisted to its proper position of adoration. "O Christmas tree! O Christmas tree"! I started shrieking at the top of my lungs in an insane fit of childhood hyperventilation before being silenced by a glare from my parents that could have stopped a train. This tableau was never mentioned again, and my family pretended it never happened. But I remember- boy, do I remember!

If you don’t have yourself a merry little Christmas, you might as well kill yourself."

John Waters is most (in)famous for his ultra-trashy movies like Pink Flamingoes and Mondo Trasho, starring the equally infamous 300 lb drag-queen divine. What you don’t hear so much about is how incredibly funny Waters is. You can see his sly wit and love of over-the-top gags in all his movies and his writing. Crackpot is a collection of articles he has written throughout the years. Waters rhapsodizes on the 118 magazines he receives and reads a month, 101 things he hates and 101 things he loves, written in short-story format. He includes plenty of advice on becoming famous (exaggerate yourself, hype yourself, or in worst case scenarios, die). He talks about his favorite exploitation flicks, promotion of really bad movies, teaching in a jail and sheepishly admits to loving any art movie - particularly if it is black and white and in a language he doesn’t speak. Funny, weird and not as trashy as one would think. Don’t have the time to read? Rent A Dirty Shame and be sure to watch Water’s commentary tracks. Funny funny stuff.

The Lighthouse, A Certain Justice, Murder Room and Original Sin - P.D. James

About 10 years ago, I picked up a copy of Original Sin at a used booksale because I liked the cover art. Despite schlepping it through about 10 moves, I never actually cracked the cover. Imagine my surprise, and rueful chagrin, when I discovered I really like P.D. James. Of course, I can no longer find my copy so I had to get one from the library. The moral of the story? Judge your books by their covers.

One of the Boucheron authors at the murder mystery night made a comment of "Well, I am certainly no P.D. James." I can’t remember who he was (sorry dude), but I ran out and got a couple of James’ books. And they are excellent.

About halfway through the second book of James’ that I had picked up, I realized what makes her books so very engrossing. Far, far too many of the modern murder writers pad their books with extraneous characters and events to add depth and a faux emotion to the plot. The domineering mother-in-law, creepy ex-husband or snotty teenager are thrown in to raise the heat of ire. But, these irritating bit players having nothing to do with the murder, nor do they advance the solution in any way. In real life, any one of these people would be dealt with a sharp word, cold shoulder or a firm slap. Yet, so many female murder writers continue padding out their books with these people. Stripped of them, they have only 50 pages of weak plot with an iffy conclusion. Shame, shame ladies.

James’ books are cool, clear, strong and logical. Her Commander Adam Dalgliesh is at the top of the British Police Force, and as such, has the most fascinating of cases. Often locked door style mysteries, they are highly complex, loop-hole free and satisfying long. While James’ does offer a goodly amount of personal information on Dalgliesh and his assistants, this is not the main point of the book. These are simply details to make their interest in their work and methodology clear. Once I found who dunnit in Original Sin, I found myself desperately wanting the book to continue indefinitely so I could see what the rest dun, and to who.

Tattoo Blues - Michael McClelland

"With hot sauce"
Rubber dinosaurs
A lesbian clam pirate
‘Nuff said. Or is it??

Beyond Mammoth Cave- James Borden and Roger Brucker

I picked up this book earlier in the fall when we were vacationing at Mammoth Cave. Tag-teaming in an occasionally confusing way, Borden and Brucker tell of their various exploits exploring and mapping Mammoth Cave and the ensuing connection to Roppel Cave, making Mammoth Cave by far the largest cave system in the world. Caving is a combination of excitement and adventure accompanied by cold, damp, dark and LOTS of politics. Interspersed with stories about climbs and digs through various newly-discovered areas of the cave (plastic wrap and duct tape does not a wetsuit make) Border and Brucker also discuss the politics of various caving groups, Park Service Rules, clubs and cliques. Often tense and exciting but also extremely frustrating, this book seems to be an excellent look at what life for dedicated cavers is really like.